It has been exactly 9 years that we have been homeschooling. We started mid-year when our son was 6 and in kindergarten and it was definitely not planned. God gave us a not-so-subtle push, you might say.
Shortly after that we became members of a local homeschool association and I remember the first homeschool meeting/ support group I went to. The presenter was a seasoned homeschool mom that had schooled many children, including her youngest daughter who has Down-syndrome. She was doing a talk for new homeschool moms that had children with special needs. Her words to this day resonate in my head “Make sure your special needs child has a happy childhood.” Those might not be her exact words but that is what I got from it. She did not say “make sure your special needs child has a perfect childhood”….make it a happy memory for them. I am sure every mom there came out of the presentation with different meanings, but that is what I walked away with.
When special needs children become teens, those children will start noticing and questioning how they are not progressing like their peers. They might not notice certain things, but many things they will notice. My son is at a 2nd/3rd grade level (and may always be) but he has many of the same wants and aspirations as his 15 year old peers. Being homeschooled, a majority of the people he is around do not have special needs. He wants what they have. He, quite honestly, will not have all the things that they have. He will not be able to drive and he will not be able to live completely without supervision. Thankfully we have a local sports program for special needs where he can also be around his special needs peers.
We homeschool year around and spread out our breaks, but June will mark the end of this school year when both kids receive their yearly testing. For the most part, I approach the testing in a relaxed way. I try to, that is. I do have a short period of time before and after when I have to remind myself that especially with my son . . .
- It is difficult to test what my son knows
. . .due to him getting anxious and whether he is feeling cooperative, plus he seems to have some memory issues with certain information (yet he will tell you minute details about a person he met years ago). In many ways his memory is far better than mine but he can’t pick what gets stuck in his head.
- His testing score does not determine his worth.
I do not believe that God makes mistakes and He created my son the way he is for a reason. Often his awesomeness cannot be recorded on a standardized test.
- My children’s test scores do not determine MY worth as a parent.
I have decided not to beat myself up if a test score is not what I think it should be. It doesn’t mean that I have failed in some way. A test is just an indicator of what areas need to be improved on and that is all it is.
- These tests do not test maturity, character, and how far he has come in 15 years.
When we were blessed with this child at 4.5 months old he was not expected to walk or talk and was extremely medically fragile. He has surpassed all expectations that any experts had labeled him with.
But still…he does have limitations and always will. It is our jobs as parents of a child with special needs (or as parents of non special needs children) to help our child achieve the potential God has equipped in each of them. So this is the time of year I start to take inventory of ways I can assist in that. I also try to keep in mind that childhood is such a short period of time and ensure there is plenty of joy in our learning.