In the past few weeks, my husband has made several comments about what a tragedy it is that kids eventually grow up and leave home. He hates the thought that some day his kids will not want to sit on the couch and snuggle him in the evenings. Each time he says this I am slightly dumbstruck. How could the healthy, natural progression of a person’s life from childhood to adulthood be a tragedy?
Now that summer is in full force, my children seem to grow as quickly as the weeds in my lawn. I am often tempted to say, “Stop growing so fast!” and to complain about how much they eat or how short their pants are getting. But the truth is, I want them to grow! I want to see them learn new things. I want to see them try — and fail — and then try again and succeed!
Nothing grows or matures without going through some changes. A plant starts as an innocuous little seed, then becomes a tiny sprout with its first two leaves. Before long you’ve got a seedling strong enough to be transplanted. Later you will have a mature plant with blossoms and immature fruit. Finally the growing, changing plant will provide a harvest and eventually will wither away and die, but not before leaving behind seeds for next year’s generation. It is a natural and beautiful process, one that many gardeners around the world look forward to year after year.
Sometimes growth leads to change that is difficult. It often leads to separation between people who were formerly close, like brothers who shared a room their entire childhood now living on opposite sides of the earth. Sometimes growth means the ending of something good; sometimes it means the start of something even better. Sometimes change is sad, but most often change cannot be quantified as either good or bad, it is just new like a bend in the road.
Change is not a tragedy. A tragedy is a child dying and never making it to adulthood. A near tragedy is a child never maturing and growing into an infantile adult who is incapable of functioning in an adult world. It would be heartbreaking for my children to never reach maturity or grow out of their cute little speech impediments because it would indicate that something was not right. But watching them grow in capability and independence, while it tugs at a mother’s heartstrings, is a beautiful and natural thing. Growing up is not a tragedy. Moving on is not a tragedy. Coming to the end of something good is not a tragedy. It can be sad, but it is a natural part of growing and changing. I hope I can learn to embrace the beauty of change even when it makes me a little sad in the process! And I hope my husband can too.