Music has always spoken to me. I’ve sung all my life in various choirs and groups and on the worship team at church; but, more than that, I ALWAYS sing along to the radio. When I was a teen who thought she knew everything, I would regard my own mother with some contempt when contemporary songs came on the radio and she didn’t know them, and I’d secretly think to myself when I’m a mom, I’m not going to “lose touch”-I’ll know ALL the current music. Then two things happened. First, God showed me that I might be saved, but I wasn’t living a life that reflected the grace and mercy He had shown me. And second, I had kids. And I started listening to the lyrics of all those songs I was singing along to with more discerning ears. Ouch! So I made the change to Christian radio.
When we moved from Florida to North Carolina, I lost the ability to listen to my favorite Christian station in the car, but gained two new alternatives, one of which is KLOVE. If you listen to Christian radio at all, you might know KLOVE because it is really a network of stations across the U.S. Besides playing music, they also will feature artist’s stories behind their latest song. Recently, I heard something from one of them that I just couldn’t relate to at all, and it really got me thinking…
Matthew West was on, talking about what led him to write his newest song “Day One.” My kids really like that song, and so do I. It’s got a catchy beat, but more than that, I can really relate to the lyrics:
Well, I wish I had a short term memory
Wish the only thing my eyes could see
Was the future burning bright right in front of me
But I can’t stop looking back
Yeah, I wish I was a perfect picture of
Somebody who’s never not good enough
I try to measure up but I mess it up
And I wish I wasn’t like that
That’s totally me…knowing that my past is forgiven, but still occasionally looking back with regret. Wishing I could live like I know I should, but messing it up all the time. So imagine my surprise when he said this, ““My counting of consecutive sinless days is something I don’t have to be owned by anymore. So whether you’re on a winning streak or a losing streak, God’s not concerned about that. He’s giving you an opportunity to start over, today is day one.” Consecutive sinless days? Days??? How about minutes? That might be a victory I could count. But sinless days? I just can’t relate to that! I wish I could. It made me wonder how many others out there can really say, “I didn’t sin at ALL today, or yesterday, or the day before.” I can totally relate to the rest of the quote-God’s mercies are new each day. He isn’t counting to see how long my sinless streak goes on for, and because of the sacrifice of Jesus, He offers forgiveness when that “streak” ends. But I don’t know that I’ve ever had ANY consecutive sinless days. Ever.
More than my own thoughts about sinless days, I thought of others who might hear him say that and feel like they are doing something wrong if they can’t count the days (not that they should be doing that anyway, which is the point he makes). The word “sin” means missing the mark. It’s like every time you don’t shoot a perfect bull’s eye in archery. I might come really close. In fact, I’ve even gotten in the center ring…but I’ve never shot a perfect bull’s eye. That takes years of practice. The thing is, never missing the mark in life…that takes a lifetime. That’s what the sanctification process is all about. We become more Christ-like every day as we read God’s word and draw closer to Him and are tested through trials and have the chance to make the right choice where before we would have made the wrong choice…but it’s definitely a process, and to me, the nearer I draw to Him, and the more of the glaring sins I am able to overcome, the more my smaller imperfections show up. So I guess I can relate to this song by Hawk Nelson a little better:
If you want to know
How far my love can go
Just how deep, just how wide
If want to see
How much you mean to me
Look at my hands, look at my side
If you could count the times I say you are forgiven
It’s more than the drops in the ocean
“Drops in the Ocean”- that I can relate to. That’s more like it. That flash of anger as one of my kids can’t find their shoe and we are late already…drop in the ocean. That time I spoke against my husband instead of supporting him…drop in the ocean. That extra handful of M&Ms…drop in the ocean. That sudden thought of unforgiveness over a past wrong…drop in the ocean. That verbal expression of my frustration to someone who is powerless to change the circumstances…drop in the ocean. That though I didn’t take captive…drop in the ocean. The list goes on and on and on.
Some days are better than others…but some days are worse. And both songs get it right in that regard. Every day His mercies are new, and every day I get to start over, to start again, to fix my eyes in Him and not on me and my faults and failures. I’m made perfect through Jesus, but in this flesh it’s a daily, minute-ly, sometimes second-ly, struggle to live that way. I’m not alone though, as every Christian alive is going through the same process. And I’m not alone because He has promised to never leave me or forsake me. I meant enough to Him that He died for me, and He means enough to me that I live for Him, ever thankful for His forgiveness, for a new “day one,” and for all those drops in the ocean.